Summer in the City

For better or worse, summer has arrived in Vienna, and it is uncharacteristically hot and sticky. Here are some random observations from the past weekend:

1) I am sitting in our room on a Sunday afternoon because it is 88 degrees outside and it has started hailing. Yes, hailing. Golf ball-sized chunks of ice are coming from the sky, there is lots of thunder and lightning, but it’s still hot outside. Two hours ago I was thinking of going for a swim in the Danube. Now I might lose an eye to an errant piece of frozen water falling from the heavens if I walk out the door. Seriously, if this isn’t global warming, I don’t know what is.

2) There is a love affair between European men and Capri pants that defies explanation. It’s one of the stranger fashion things I’ve seen here – even stranger than men in Speedos.

3) Wait, I take that back. What’s more strange are seeing men in truly short shorts. Whenever I see them, I start singing the 1980s jingle for Nair: “Who wears short shorts?” And no, they don’t use a hair removal product.

4) The tourists have arrived—literally by the busload. They’re everywhere, and it’s insane. When we walked home from the U-Bahn station by our house yesterday, I counted 13 tour buses that were parked nearby. I realize I’m still a bit of a tourist myself, but tourists travel in packs here. For protection maybe – certainly not for warmth. They come Eastern Europe, Japan, China, as well as senior citizen tours from England and the US, and even Contiki tour buses, filled with the rejects of a “Girls Gone Wild” Europe special.

5) One out of every ten U-Bahn trains has air-conditioning, and none of the buses have A/C. As a result, a world of aromas comes alive on the public transit system. It’s such a cliché, but it’s absolutely true. I try to be culturally relative, but the reality is that with all the tourists here, the trains are packed to the brim at all hours of the day, and particularly on weekends, so you’re standing cheek to cheek with a half-dozen hot, sweaty people, and it’s a feast for the senses.

6) Ok, screw cultural relativism. If men in Austria have a love affair with Capri pants, then women have a love affair with panty hose. It’s one thing to wear them to work (I myself do from time to time). It’s quite another to wear them on a hot, humid weekend, with shorts or a casual skirt – and you clearly aren’t going to a nice dinner, church, etc. They have to be absolutely miserable, and it just doesn’t make sense to me. If you haven’t shaved your legs, who cares?!? Give your gams a break and let them breathe! I just want to liberate all these women, get them to rip their panty hose off ala burning their bras in the ‘60s. I just don’t understand it. I’m sure it’s a cultural thing, but I feel very sorry for them – and I feel like I don’t fit in because I won’t do it myself.

7) No A/C at all, and very few places that serve ice with drinks in Vienna. I am so spoiled by the US. It’s not the end of the world to not have A/C or ice, but good Lord do I crave an icy drink sometimes. Next time you pour yourself an ice-cold glass of water, look at the glass and say thank you. It is a wonderful, beautiful luxury.

It has stopped hailing but is still raining, so I might try and get out for a few minutes. Ta ta for now, and we love and miss you all!