An Open Letter to Rick Steves

Dear Rick:

I really like you. Your humor, lovable quirkiness and -- let's be honest -- dorkiness is unbeatable in the travel industry. You know your stuff, and I love your approach to traveling through Europe. You have never led me too far astray on my travels, and I thank you for that. And I am not even ashamed to admit that I Tivo your travel specials, and feel a little bit giddy when I see you have new travel specials to watch.

It is with great sadness then that I must report that you have failed me somewhat on this trip to Prague. The hotel is, of course, fantastic, and everything we are looking for. Hotels are one of the things you really do best. And your thorough, informative descriptions of sights and attractions is absolutely fantastic. But Rick -- dear, sweet Rick -- your food and nightlife recommendations have been so hit-or-miss I'm wondering when was the last time you visited Prague.

On our first night we went to the Czech restaurant you recommended as one of the best examples of Czech food. Now I've learned that Czech isn't always something to write home about, but my 'homemade meatloaf,' which was in fact a lukewarm piece of bologna, and Todd's white bread dumplings in gravy from a can, were almost inedible. That's saying something, because at the end of the day there are few foods I can't stomach. Dinner the next night at the Thai/Burmese/Malaysian restaurant you recommended was fantastic, and I thought you had redeemed yourself. But last night we went to the fish restaurant you recommended, the one with the 300 Kc fixed-price three-course meal with a view on the river. When we arrived, we found they have never had a fixed-price menu, and that you can't find an entree for under 300 Kc, and you have to pay additionally for a side -- unless you want to just eat a piece of fish. Admittedly, my fish was fresh, but it had so many bones in it is was also nearly inedible. And to top it all off, the restaurant would not give free tap water. You had to purchase small bottles of water for over $2 each. It was 98 degrees yesterday Rick. 98 degrees. Do you know how much it hurt to drink $2 worth of water in less than 30 seconds?

In fairness, all this isn't your fault. But I was so surprised, because you have always been so good to me Rick. All of our misadventures culminated when we went to the nightlife/entertainment section you provided on Prague. The place you recommended first for music clubs is a venue called 'The Roxy,' which you describe as 'a lively place with live bands and and experimental DJs.' Todd and I were about to go there when I checked the Prague book my friend and former co-worker Karaliese loaned to me. It describes the Roxy as the following: 'A former cinema stripped to its concrete essentials, and usually playing hard-core techno to match. It styles itself as an 'experimental space,' but largely sticks to raves of the most traditional kind, and due to the absence of adequate air-conditioning, descending onto the dance floor is usually like slamming into a wall of sweat. Popular among early 1990s nostalgists and recreational drug abusers.'

That, ladies and gentleman, is why I always buy two guidebooks for wherever I'm going. And I love you Rick -- I really do -- but I thank my lucky stars we had that other book. Otherwise Todd and I might still be stuck in some sweaty Nirvana haze in a post-communist basement.

Rick, I think you might be getting out of touch with the 'young' traveler, and that's ok. No one expects you to be hanging out in the coolest places. But I propose something to you: hire me to be that person. I'm young, qualified, a reasonably ok writer, and we're kindred dorky souls. Let me be the person to update your guidebooks with great restaurants, clubs, concerts, etc that can appeal to the younger traveler who's upgraded from hostels but still wants to travel on a reasonable budget. Save the hundreds of youths who might be out there right now, stuck in the early 1990s with recreational drug abusers at some club you've recommended. Save them Rick. Save them.

You're soon to have a second chance Rick, as we leave for Budapest tomorrow, and I'll see then if your recommendations improve. Until then, gentle readers, have a wonderful day, and hopefully I'll be able to put in a post before we leave Hungary.